A Weee Dram : Driving with Walt

On a good day, driving with Walt isn't fun. Ask the kids, he's an aggro driver. I find myself constantly slamming my foot to press an imaginary brake and grabbing the roll bar. He has arguments with everyone around him, swerving in and out of traffic, cursing everyone on the freeway, tailgating, cutting people off and basically doing to others what he hates being done to him. And again, this is on a good day. Put him in a car on the wrong side of the road, tired, and unfamiliar with the terrain? That's gonna be a hard pass for me. Honestly, such a spaz. Within minutes of being in the car, we almost died. Head on collision and of course he doesn't know what I'm talking about, HE WAS GOING AROUND THE ROUNDABOUT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! Yeah, if we were at home. So this just set the mood in the car. I tried to be supportive, tried to encourage and remind that we are supposed to be on the left. But honestly, shit just went downhill from there. We finally get out of town and are on a country road, no one around, just us and the sheep, absolutely beautiful and what you'd expect from Scotland. Until the guy behind us starts tailgating like no one's business, according to Walt. Now, I looked in the side view mirror and he was at an acceptable distance. For your average driver. Not Walt. He didn't like him back there "tailgating" him.
"I can't even see the asshole's bumper"
"Well I can, why can't you?"
"This fucker better get off my ass!"
**Wildly pull off the road with no signal going 60 miles an hour into a tiny curve on the road...guy passes us***
Walt, "He was dangerous, he was going to rear-end us!"
Me, "Why would he rear-end us? There's no traffic. It's just us and him on a two lane highway. He wasn't even that close."
"He was going to REAR END US!!"
"Oh you mean he was going to just rush up on us and slam into the back of us for no reason? It's not stop and go traffic! Why do you have to be so angry and aggro? Just mind your own business and drive and don't worry about anyone else."
"That guy was up my ass!!"

And on and on it goes. There was a lot of silence in the car for a while as there were two "assholes" who were going to randomly slam into the back of us for no apparent reason.
I just read this to Walt and I'm actually crying tears. He's like, "That's not true, that's not how it was!" and I go, "Yeah? What was different?" and he says, no joke, "That guy was on my ass!" I lost it.

The other thing? Give him a speed limit and he's going to beat it. You "suggest" 40 on this windy road? Not for Walt, he's going to do it at 60 on two wheels as we screech around every wind in the road. Speed limits are for losers...

Outside of that, the day was just perfect. We visited Stirling Castle first. What an amazing fortress with so much history. This is where it all happened. I feel fortunate to have read so much about Scotland's history and can totally appreciate places like this. For me, the coolest part is visiting places like Queen Mary's Garden and imagining her and her friends playing and running around here 400 years ago. It almost makes her real. Such a special place. From there, Loch Lomond. Ehh, it was just a giant lake that reminded of us places we've seen at home. It wasn't until we headed from the lowlands to the highlands that things started to change. It's weird because there's this ever present haze that hangs over the land and makes the pictures not as vibrant or beautiful as it is in real life. It's like a May Grey but not quite as grey. Another Loch, then Inverary Castle. Oh but before this, the sheep!! Omg the little baby sheep just lying in the fields, taking naps or wagging their little tails. Cutest thing in the world and I just wanted to hop the fence and love them up. Missing my kitties obviously. Ok, Inverary. Wow!! We were tired after being on the road all day and weren't going to do it. It was 4:45 and last entrance was at 5:00 with closure at 5:45. We talked ourselves into it because it's kinda why we drove all this way out into the countryside, to explore places like this. First, the town is darling and I totally want to go back and explore. Next, the palace itself is like a fairytale come true. And actual real live people live there! The Duke of Argyll and his wife and kids. They look like totally normal people too. I won't go into too much detail, just a reminder to look them up. Also, a few scenes from Downton Abbey were filmed here. Super cool. Walt actually said it was his favorite stop so far. From there we drove to Oban. Such a cute harbor town and it doesn't hurt that our room at The Greystones is to die for. Seriously, I could hole up here for three days and just be stoked looking at the view. All in all, Scotland has delivered on every level. The people are just the sweetest, the service in restaurants is fantastic, not to mention we've had great food, and the countryside is everything you could possibly imagine and more. We will for sure be back and we haven't even hit the golf part yet!! I'm sitting on my bed, looking at the view of the harbor while I blog and I feel incredibly blessed. Speaking of, Walt felt blessed earlier. Blessed by Liz's Jao room/life/hand/furniture sanitizer/deodorizer. It's pretty much a do it all kind of stuff and I'm in love with it. It has the most yummy smell that relaxes you. I was spraying the room with it tonight and Walt wanted a little on his face. I told him it was ok because it's actually made for that too. If you close your eyes that is. Apparently he opened his eyes when I sprayed it and as I was walking away I hear him casually and calmly say, "Wow that really burns. That really, really burns." I look back and he's all bleary eyed, rubbing his face and wincing. I started laughing so hard I was doubled over. Why did you open your eyes???? "Let Liz know she just pretty much blinded me with her spray." Just wanted to let you know Liz.

Tomorrow we have a 3 island tour. When we told the owner of the place our plans as he checked us in, he looked at us like we were crazy. Doing all three huh? he says, Wow. Now I'm scared. We leave at 9:30am, back at 8:05pm. Three different islands, three different ferries. I hope I get to see the Puffins!!!

**Once again, out of order. I WILL FIX THIS!!!!